It's 3:31am

God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear, though the earth should change,
Though the mountains shake in the heart of the sea;
Though its waters roar and foam, 
Though the mountains tremble with its tumult. . .. 
Be still, and know that I am God! [NRSV]
Psalms 46:1-3, 10a
 
It’s 3:31am on Wednesday morning, and I am supposed to do a run with my friend Brandon in 4 hours.  But I can’t sleep.  Just a few hours ago, I took part in officiating a memorial service for baby Charlie Jane.  A bright, bubbly little 9 month old baby that died way too soon due to complications from a surgery that she had on her stomach. 
 
As I write this, I can’t get the image of baby Charlie in the hospital and yet smiling for her daddy
out of my head.  I struggle with what to make of this.  As a pastor and minister of the Gospel, I know where Charlie is and I can confidently say that I’m not worried for Charlie.  But for her mom and dad, my heart breaks.  Even as I hear my 8 and 12 year old in the other room asleep, I consider that all of the stuff that I get so worked up about is really dumb.  Saying goodbye to your baby on this side of heaven must be the hardest thing one could ever do.  Literally, I can’t think of anything harder.
 
So...what do we do with this?
 
1. Pray for Charlie’s mom and dad and family.  Pray that they experience the peace that “transcends all understanding” as Paul writes about in his letter to the Philippian Church.  Pray that they can find joy in the memories but that they can also have hope in the future.  

2. Love your loved ones.  Especially if you have kids (I’m writing to myself), cherish the opportunities that God gives you.  Don’t take them for granted.  Put down the phone.  Tell them you love them and show it with the most precious commodity you have- your time.  

3.  Be thankful.  I thank God so much for the moments I have with my girls.  I am thankful for God putting them in my life and for every experience we have had together.  I am thankful for baby Charlie, too!  If it wasn’t for her impact on my life, my relationship with my daughters might have become less of a priority, especially during this stressful time of trying to start a new church.   Charlie reminds me that my ministry to my family is the most important thing… even over a new church in Kendall.  

4.  Live like life matters.  Don’t waste your time.  That doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t have downtime.  I think downtime is a good thing, especially if that time is spent with those closest to you.  Just don’t take life for granted.  I know Charlie’s mom and dad would agree. 

5.  Trust God.  I opened this post with the words of Psalm 46 which are the words that I began the service with yesterday.  A reminder that God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.  Therefore we will not fear, though the earth should change, Though the mountains shake in the heart of the sea; Though its waters roar and foam, Though the mountains tremble with its tumult…  Be still and know that I am God.